If you add up all the time I’ve spent waiting in line at my local pharmacy, it would probably come out to hours and hours days even. And waiting in line, it’s safe to say I’ve spent many hours pondered this box to the Seal-Tight cast protector.
What’s going on Seal-Tight? You’re selling a cast protector. Why are you putting a stereotypically sexy naked woman on your box?
Seriously, people, I’ve broken my arm clean through, and let me tell you, it is not a sexy experience. Casts are heavy. After a while, they stink. And if something so bad happens to you, that you have to GO to the hospital and get a cast put on you are not in a good place. You’re going to be drugged up on Vicodin, maybe vomiting from the pain killers, with greasy hair, stress pimples on your face, pale and weak with bags under your eyes.
Taking a bath or shower to get not-gross is an upsetingly difficult process, hence the need for a Seal-Tight to begin with.
Are these boxes selling the fantasy that you can feel fresh and beautiful and normal even when you have a heavy, smelly cast on your arm?
(This one, for real? She went to the beach. To sunbathe?? Because I know she wasn’t swimming. Is that what you do when you break your arm? Go to Cabo and get a lopsided arm tan?)
My wonderful friend Nye and I met up for coffee today, and I asked him if he would mind keeping me company at the pharmacy. Thankfully, there was no line. But while I was paying, Nye discovered the Seal-Tight display.
“What is UP with this box? Why do they need a hot chick on there?”
“I know. It’s crazy, right? Let me tell you, when you break a limb, the last thing you’re thinking about is feeling sexy.”
“Yeah, you know, you’re not supposed to feel sexy all the time. … You’d think the people who need those would just have to buy them, not be lured in by some sexy lady on the box.”
Although, it has been since pointed out to me that common people (like myself) use the less-waterproof trash-bag-and-duct-tape method. Hence, need for Seal-Tight selling itself. Still, you’d think “We keep your cast really dry and mess-free!” would be a good-enough selling point.
Go corporate America! Don’t let go of the male-fantasy unattainable beauty ideal EVER. Not ever. You can’t even look like crap when your arm is broken, ladies!